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Netmon
Every half hour, Netmon speed-tests your internet connection, counts the devices on your local network, and reports to your Telegram or Discord with charts and a sarcastic AI-written verdict. Each cycle measures download, upload, ping, ISP, and test server with a single-connection test that mimics one real download, then scans the subnet to tally phones, laptops, and mystery gadgets. Results land in a local SQLite database, building the trend history behind every report. Every four hours you get the full picture: a 24-hour speed graph plus an AI analysis that notices the evening drop, counts the new devices, and names the likely bandwidth hog in plain language. Between reports, short status alerts keep you posted with a simple all-good or line-is-dying. The AI commentary can run on a cloud model or a local one through Ollama or LM Studio, graphs and alerts convert cleanly between Telegram formatting and Discord embeds, and the whole bot runs unattended as a background service. Running on a dedicated VPS on RepoCloud with guaranteed CPU, RAM, and SSD, full root SSH access, and a browser serial console. MIT licensed.
Benefits
- Your ISP, kept honest
- A speed test every 30 minutes, stored in SQLite, builds the evidence trail that shows exactly when your line slows down and by how much.
- Know every device online
- An nmap ARP scan each cycle counts the phones, laptops, and smart gadgets on your subnet, so strangers on your network stand out fast.
- Reports that read themselves
- Every four hours a 24-hour trend graph arrives with AI commentary that explains drops, spikes, and device jumps in plain sarcastic language.
- Private by architecture
- Metrics never leave your machine except the report you asked for. The AI can run on a local model through Ollama or LM Studio.
Features
- Thirty-minute speed cycles
- Each cycle runs speedtest-cli with a single connection, recording download, upload, ping, ISP, and the test server used for the measurement.
- LAN device counting
- An nmap ARP scan of your subnet tallies active devices each cycle, catching hardware that ordinary ping sweeps would silently miss.
- Twenty-four-hour trend graphs
- Matplotlib renders a rolling 24-hour chart of speeds and device counts, attached to every four-hour report sent to your chat.
- Telegram and Discord delivery
- Pick a Telegram bot or a Discord webhook. Reports are formatted per platform, with Discord embeds and Telegram-safe message truncation.
- Any OpenAI-compatible brain
- The commentary generator talks to any OpenAI-compatible endpoint, from cloud models to a local Ollama or LM Studio server on your network.
- Set-and-forget operation
- Configure tokens in a .env file, start it under systemd or tmux, and netmon keeps cycling, storing, and reporting around the clock.