A single binary watches everything you care about and only bothers you when something breaks. EaseProbe is an open-source health and status checker that probes websites over HTTP, TCP ports, ping, TLS certificates, shell commands, SSH hosts, and native clients for MySQL, PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB, Kafka, Memcache, and ZooKeeper. Each target gets an interval, timeout, retry checks, and data validation, from HTTP status and XPath evaluation to a Redis key matching an expected value; SSH host probes also watch CPU, memory, and disk so slow saturation gets caught alongside hard failures. When a target flips state, edge-triggered notifications fan out to Slack, Discord, Telegram, Microsoft Teams, email, AWS SNS, WeCom, DingTalk, Lark, SMS providers, log files, syslog, or your own shell script, with repeat alerts and quiet recovery behavior under your control. Availability history accumulates into daily, weekly, or monthly SLA reports delivered through those same channels, plus a live SLA page and JSON endpoint served by the probe itself. Everything it measures also exits as Prometheus metrics with per-target status, latency, and uptime, ready for Grafana dashboards and alerting rules alongside the rest of your stack. Configuration is one YAML file, persistence is one local data file, and the same binary runs on a tiny VPS watching an entire fleet. Running on a dedicated VPS on RepoCloud with guaranteed CPU, RAM, and SSD, full root SSH access, and a browser serial console. Apache-2.0 licensed.